Sunday, December 26, 2010

First Kisses.....First Loves

One of the rules in my house was "no dating" until we turned sixteen. But, my mom gave in during my freshman year of high school. There was one condition to that though - I had to double date with my sister. I was going to get to go to the prom, so I didn't care if I had to go on a "TRIPLE DATE". So off to the prom we went. Back then, during the 70's, going to dances was a much bigger deal than it is now. We used to have a homecoming dance, snowball dance, valentines dance, prom and some others in between. Our prom was held in Morehead and we had Live Bands. That was a very big deal. Well, it was to this country gal that hadn't been out of the country much.
To tell you the truth, I can't remember much about my first prom except the guy's name I went with and that "first kiss" he gave me. I had always imagined my first kiss would be something like fireworks but i guess that firecracker was a dud. I don't know if he was a bad kisser or if it was me but it was "slobbery" and "GROSS." Don't kids still use that word? Anyway, I was totally disappointed with my first kiss. We "went out" a couple times after that and then he graduated from high school. He got a job driving a truck and was "truckin" while I was trying to find a way to break up with him. He called one weekend saying he was on his way to my house. My stomach started to churn and I thought I might throw up. I told my mom and sister that I was going to walk in the woods and they would have to tell him I didn't want to see him anymore. I didn't cry but my mom and sister did. I just ran as fast as I could to the woods. When I returned a couple hours later, I could see tears in my mom and sister's eyes. I knew it didn't go well but I wasn't about to open my mouth. I just headed to my bedroom, before I got sent there. Oh, don't worry, "Karma" found me many times over the next, ummm, 30 years, and then some! I had my share of tears with boyfriends and husbands. Yep, "husbands" is plural.
Things were starting to look up during my sophomore year and all was forgotten from the first incident. Back in the 70's, most people I knew just went out with different guys every weekend. There were a few that went "steady" but most of us were just trying to find ourselves and find out who we liked. My sister was one of those that went "steady." If you look in my mom's old photo albums you will see all of her "dance pictures" with the same guy for 4 years. In my "dance pictures" you will see me with a different guy in every picture for 4 years, except for two. I went to two different dances with one guy once! Which leads me to my "first love." It was the school year of 76/77 and I somehow got with a so called "bad guy." Well, some people said that. I didn't. My first kiss with him was more than fireworks. I think I skyrocketed to the moon and back every time I kissed him. I can remember both of those dances and exactly what we were wearing. Kissing him took over everything else in school, which is why mom got a couple telephone calls from some teachers telling her I was kissing in the hallways. I don't think she said much to me about it though. Probably because she kissed in the hallways when she was in high school. I don't know.
This guy was my first love. I'm not sure why I fell in love with him. Could've been because he was much smarter than me, more talented than me and he sure could KISS. Or, it could of been those yellow roses he sent me. Yellow roses are still my favorite to this day. I was pretty dang jealous back then but I wasn't about to let it show. I knew he liked me but I was never sure he felt the same way about me as I did him. We dated for over a year and someone told me he was cheating on me so my friend and I took off to do some detective work. We parked our car about half a mile from the Old Slate Furnace because we heard he was going to be there at a party. We continued our spying adventure by crawling that half mile on our hands and knees in weeds, sticks and who knows what else was in that field we were crawling in. When we got to where we could see, after we caught our breaths again, there he was. I didn't actually see him with another girl but boy was I mad. That lead to me calling him later that night and telling him it was over. The next day, he was angry because I broke up with him. I remember sitting in my car, well - my parents car (we didn't have our own car) and he jumped into the driver's side while I was out getting a drink from one of those old pop machines. I got in the passenger side and he sped away to somewhere in Stepstone, next to the creek. He said if I didn't get back together with him "we were going in." So, I said "no," and IN WE WENT. I could see the water seeping under the doors and into the floorboards.
I'm not sure how we got out of that creek but I remember what happened the next morning. I woke up to screams that I seldom heard. It sounded like a male voice. I was use to "female" voices screaming but this was MY DAD. I knew he had found the water in the car and I was in a heap of trouble. I hurried to tell my mom the truth and begged her to lie for me. She did. I think that was the first and last time she lied for me. But, I knew another "condition" was coming up - She said, "on one condition, I forbid you to see that guy again." So, it was over. He never knew it but I think I cried off and on for years after that.
First Loves.....I don't think you ever love anyone again like you do your "first love." Sure, you love again and probably again and again. But it's never the same. There's nothing like that first "good kiss" or your first "love." So to all you girls that are out there with your "first love" or you've just had that first KISS - you might not have a kiss that will send you to the moon like mine did, but hey, kisses that send you to Jupiter can be just as good. Just not the "gross" ones though. By the way, the angel God sent me - my husband now - can kiss pretty DARN good too.
Karma, yep, it came back to me many times over the years - probably from that first break-up and that first "gross kiss" when I was a freshman. So, to all those I've hurt in the past - I'm sorry. To all those I've hurt in the present - I'm sorry. And to all those I might hurt in the future - I'm sorry. It never was and never will be intentional! Maybe I just didn't know how to kiss!

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